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The non-negotiable necessity of healing ourselves


When I began the journey of healing me, it didn’t seem like there was a lot to feel good about.


The people in the 12 Step groups, as well as the mentors I met at the time kept telling me I had a lot of work to do to clear up the wreckage of my past, not to mention, change the way I conducted myself moving forward.


Damn. A tall task, or should I say, a bunch of tall tasks for me at that time, as I had no idea how to embark on any of it. I kinda wanted to but was not thoroughly convinced I could. All I knew is that I wanted to stay sober and move my life from a place that felt crappy, to a place that felt better.


Turns out, that’s all I needed. I didn’t know it then, but it was the one ingredient I needed to begin. Willingness.


That didn’t get me smiling or laughing a whole lot, but it did give me the “want to” to find out what I needed to do to change. I found out.


I found out that I need to first, be sick and tired of being sick and tired. This does not only pertain to addictions, it can also apply very nicely after we get sober and are faced with life. It can be a catalyst for change, or at least knowing that we don’t want to live like we’re living.


Then, I needed to allow myself to be helped. To accept that there were people who would give their time, wisdom, and support to me and want nothing in return. Could I trust them? I found out that I could, at least most of them.


Then I had to move on to the business of taking out some of the garbage that I’d accumulated over the years, in terms of how I treated myself and how I treated others. This was probably the most daunting as well as the most difficult to define, as it has to do with taking a very close look at myself. I didn’t understand then, but apparently, from what they told me, I was embarking on a journey that would continue as long as I’m on this planet.


Does all of this sound intimidating? It certainly did to me. I was 19 when I started and confused as can be about this whole “life” thing, not to mention, I’m finding out that my ideas of how things work and how to be happy and obtain a little peace of mind and heart, are not what will work to acquire those things.


Again, damn.


So now what?


Well, the only real answer is to maintain that willingness and do the work. So, that’s what I did.


I dove into what people better at this whole life thing suggested I do, even and especially, if I didn’t feel like it. I explored other teachers and mentors through books and recordings and began to formulate my own views about life and about what I believe. I tried my best to be disciplined and consistent with the things I was learning. I did my best to be more and more honest with myself.


I started to feel better.

I started to get glimpses of that peace they spoke about.

I started to experience some success in my work life.

I started to be able to help others start on their journey.

I started to revise my definitions of what this life is all about … for me.

I really started to heal.


A few decades later now and life has become a much simpler exercise, but from so many perspectives, the actions I take haven’t changed too much.

I’m still very willing to do what it takes; I still learn from mentors and people with different perspectives; I am still very curious about life and what it takes to live a great one.


I practice daily disciplines consistently, do what’s in front of me to be done, and don’t rest on any (so called) achievements. I keep going.


The big difference now is that I am living a life beyond what I was previously capable of envisioning, for which I am very grateful.


I found out early on, and it is just as true today as it was back then … it’s all about the willingness and it’s all about doing the work.

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