taking complete responsibility

In my book, "When I Stop Fighting," I share the lessons I've learned on my path to recovery and self-discovery. One of the most powerful lessons came from a simple phrase I heard around the 12-Step tables: "Nobody owes you a damn thing." At first, it sounded harsh, but I soon realized the profound truth and freedom it held.

If I wanted to improve my life – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially – it was one hundred percent on me. No one else was responsible for my actions, my work ethic, my self-esteem, my faith, or how I treated my body. It was a lot of responsibility, sure. But the alternative was being tossed around by the uncontrollable forces of life – the people, places, and things I had no power over.

So, I turned inward. I focused on what I could control: me. It wasn't easy. It wasn't always fun. But as I put in the work, I started to experience a newfound strength and resilience. I didn't have to react emotionally to every setback. I could say no to temptations. I could make choices that nourished my body and soul.

What’s the alternative?

Being tossed around in life by people, places, and things that are completely and irretrievably beyond my control? I’d rather not, thanks.

Am I going to work to improve myself to the point where I rely on what’s inside me and the inner strength I’ve developed, so that I don’t have to emotionally react to everything that doesn’t go my way?

Am I going to put in the work to be able to say an emphatic no to the constant temptations around me?

Am I going to learn about what it takes to be truly physically healthy?

Am I going to keep moving toward my aspirations in life no matter how many times I

feel like quitting?

Or am I going to get bounced around by the nonstop gyrations of life?

These are the questions to ask ourselves as we continue on our journey to the contented, fulfilled, and abundant life we deserve.