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Do we tell ourselves we “shouldn’t”?

Especially when and as we embark upon a “spiritual” life? Or some version of what we’re told is a spiritual or metaphysical, or higher plane of existence?

“But I’m on this spiritual path now, I can’t possibly be distracted or sad or pissed off or …”

The very interesting thing about growing and changing is that it means something very different from what many are somehow instructed to believe.

It doesn’t mean telling yourself you're beyond certain things. It doesn’t mean you’re “not allowed to feel or experience” this or that or the other because you’re somehow magically “past” it.

Whatever “it” is.

In my experience, because I’ve had significant experience with the ass-kicking machine (see my book, WHEN I STOP FIGHTING) and “shoulding” all over myself that I believe is humanly possible, I’d like to offer that getting closer to our experiences … good, bad, whatever, is how we most effectively move ourselves down the road of personal growth.

Pushing things away and telling ourselves not to is, in a word …


Well, as we now know, because you’ve all read my first book, is that the way to a truly peaceful, contented, put-away-the-ass-kicking-machine kind of path is to …

STOP fighting.

Oh, that’s right. I forgot.

Don’t worry, I do as well sometimes.

We are designed to feel good, bad, maybe even indifferent.

We are designed to ruminate.

We are designed to A L L O W.

What a great word that is.


Allow what?

Allow whatever shows up to show up …

And then,

allow it to pass.

This is the exact opposite of fighting. This is how we begin to move through life as a whole participant of everything.

We get closer to the wonderful experience of life, as opposed to further away.

It is completely okay to feel whatever is showing up, allow it to be there, allow it to tell us something we need to hear, and then …

allow it to move on.

This is how we know which actions to take next. Maybe there’s something we need to fix within ourselves, or with a relationship, or with a move to something different in our lives.

The best part, at least how I’ve experienced it, when we allow this process to take place, the tough stuff can lose it’s teeth.


Yes, teeth.

That’s the part that hurts. We can get bit when we fight (metaphorically speaking, of course).

We can also get bit when we attempt to stamp out the messages that we’re continually presented with, instead of attending to what it is that we continue to be shown.

So what’s next?

I’ve found that the best way to “allow” is to find a way to quiet my mind, if even for a few minutes per day.

The direction will come. The path will show itself, the things we need to attend to will become apparent.

Then, the only question that remains is …

Am I going to do the work, or just keep getting the messages?

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